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Blended Family Weddings: The Ceremony
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The ceremony is the most deeply meaningful component of your wedding — especially for your children. When you involve your kids in the ceremony, you are essentially making a promise to them — you and your new spouse will always be there to love and support them.

During the reading of the vows and the unity ceremony, the couple often asks the children to stand up beside them. Some couples are even choosing to incorporate promises to their kids directly into their marriage vows. For example:

I, [NAME], as your new step-[MOM/DAD], vow to love and care for you as long as I live.

Feel free to write your own vows to your children. Incorporate anything you feel will bear significance to your kids, even if it’s a little silly. The important thing here is to make it known to your kids that your marriage is a renewed promise to them — in addition to a new promise to your spouse.



Blended Family Candle

The lighting of the unity candle is another moment that naturally lends itself to the honoring of your children. After the bride and groom light the unity candle, they often provide each of their children with a taper candle, which the kids then light from the parents’ pillar candle.



Bride And Groom Cylinders

If the unity candle ceremony is not your cup of tea (or if your kids aren’t quite old enough to be safe in the vicinity of open flame), consider a new alternative that involves sand, crushed glass or wax granules of various colors. The bride, groom, and all the children choose a bag of colored sand to represent themselves. They then simultaneously pour their sand into a family vase, which ultimately symbolizes the individual family members joining to make a beautifully blended masterpiece.



Couples who choose these types of ceremonies typically either mention the significance of the event in the wedding program or they ask the officiant to speak about the symbolism of the event, so guests can follow along — and to publicly honor the kids.


You could also ask your less shy children to read poems or Bible passages — or even an original work — to honor the special occasion.


As a final note, make sure you take a few moments throughout this harried stage of your life to stop and talk with your kids about their feelings. Even the most well-adjusted children sometimes feel anticipation or even anxiety about their parent's upcoming wedding. Assure them that no matter what happens in this world, one thing will never change: your love for them.

by Connie Colwell Miller